Suparna Raju, 22, from Kolkata, India feels unsafe when out alone, she said:
If you leave the house past 9pm, you’re seen as a daredevil. You’re practically asking for it if you go out on your own. My mother never lets me take public transport because there are too many cases of drivers being unsafe.
The capital city of India, New Delhi, is known as the ‘rape capital’. There are hundreds of incidents of rape reported every day, involving children as young as 7 months old.
The men say that women are effectively asking to be raped when they wear make-up and certain outfits.
There are police patrols around the city all night, but often they can’t be trusted either.
When I was at university in Bangalore I lived in women’s only accommodation. One night around 4am two of my friends were coming home from a night out, they’d been drinking but weren’t drunk. They were being chased by the police. Luckily they made it back to the hostel before the police reached them. If they hadn’t, something definitely would have happened to them.
There are areas of the city that are a lot more accepting of certain clothes, skirts and dresses etc. But often you will just get stared at, it makes you feel horribly uncomfortable. Subtlety is not something they’re good at.
In the UK strangers smile at each other as they pass by, this is normal right? In India, a smile at a stranger is an invitation, as if you’re implying a message. Since moving home after some time in the UK I’ve had men follow me home as I’ve accidently smiled at them in the street out of habit.
I do try to wear whatever clothes I want to wear, but it’s just not worth the unnecessary attention that it attracts. I’ve never worn a bikini on the beach, partly because I’m not confident enough but mainly to just avoid attention.
To live life as you would in the UK you need to be guarded and protected. I would rather give up on having fun and have my space.
I don’t want to stoop to the standards that are set here for women, but when it comes down to it, you have to adapt yourself and your body to the place. It’s just easier.
Hollie Eustace, 21, from Sheffield, UK experienced groping on a night out, she said:
One of my experiences of harassment in the street will always stay with me.
My three girlfriends and I left pre-drinks around 10.30pm to join the queue for entry tickets to the club we were going to. We took bottles of vodka and coke with us to finish in the queue, we knew we’d be there a while.
There was a group of boys behind us who were the same age as us, first year of university. We struck up a conversation and about an hour passed by of us chatting, making jokes, moaning about the queue and building a friendship with these strangers.
This was fine until the one guy behind me started to run his hands over me. Over my waist, my thighs and my arse. I tried to stay calm and not cause a scene but my heart began to race and my stomach was in knots.
I asked him to stop, politely at first – keeping it light-hearted. But he wouldn’t. My friend started getting angry and shouting at the boy to stop but neither him or his friends were responding.
As I began to panic my friend left the queue to find a bouncer. The one she spoke to said he’d be down to sort the situation out. He didn’t come.
Before long the shouting and my crying caught the attention of a girl in front of us who took over the shouting from my friend, repeatedly asking the boy to take his hands off me. He just stared straight ahead.
The boys didn’t speak until eventually a second bouncer told them to leave the queue. They shouted and jeered as if it was myinappropriate behaviour that got them kicked out.
I was scared to challenge the boy. I didn’t want to risk my friends or I being kicked out for causing a scene – which was a likely outcome if I’d reacted the way I’d wanted to.
I decided not to let the incident ruin my night. It’s easy to have that mind-set about these things when it happens all the time.
Umanga Perera, 20, from Doha, Qatar sees the impact of social class divides regularly, she said:
Street harassment isn’t such an issue for me, because I don’t look Arab or Muslim. However, I have friends who do and for them, the way they are treated is disgusting.
It is especially bad when you walk into the shopping malls where the young, affluent Qatari hang out. Around The Pearl, a prominent shopping quarter for the well-off, is one of the worst places for it. Men sit socialising in eloquent coffee shops. They’re bored of talking about their money and need something to take their frustration out on. They stare and hoot and howl at you as you walk by. And that’s not even when you’re wearing shorts or low cut tops - that’s another story.
One of my close friends is disabled and uses a wheelchair. The way she is treated is just awful. Men will slow down in their cars, roll down the windows and shout at her. Just because she is a disabled woman they see her as a caricature and make remarks.
Once I was on a drive with that same friend and her sisters at around 1am. We were driving along listening to music, chatting and laughing. We were passing near The Pearl and that’s when people started to react. My friend’s sister, who was driving, was wearing a hijab – Qatar is a mostly Islamic country so this isn’t anything out of the ordinary – and because she was driving people were staring. One man got out of his car, walked over to us and thrust his backside at the car door. Is that a cool thing to do? Rub your arse on a stranger’s car? Good job.
I think it’s awful the way that women and women with disabilities are degraded. But you can’t change anyone’s world view or try to tell them off because then you’re just the crazy person screaming in the street.
Titiya Elba, 20, from Freetown, Sierra Leone wants support for women in Africa, she said:
Unwanted harassment is definitely an issue where I’m from. I was walking down the street and a man put his hand down my shirt and grabbed my boob.
I slapped him away and he laughed and said, “It’s a joke, it’s a joke!”
I said, “No, it’s not a joke. I don’t like it. Why do you wish to do this to me?”
It’s all money, money, money. If you don’t have money the police won’t help you.
I am scared to go out by myself and night and I am always ready to scream for help.
My sister was raped by an older man when she was 12 years old. Nine months later, she gave birth. Our mother went to the police station but because we don’t have money, nothing was done.
When women report these issues you just get referred to women’s rights charities and no further precautions are put in place.
We need people with power to fight for us and make a change, no one listens to you here without money.
Aimee Mirto, 25, from Hamden, Connecticut wishes she could fight back, she said:
I spend most of my time in New Haven, a city just a five-minute drive from the small town I live in. Here, I experience catcalling and harassment frequently.
I’m sure people will wonder, “Well what was she wearing?”
But I could literally be wearing anything. I work at Yale University and I have to dress professionally in a suit, it might be the most hideous thing I’ve ever seen. Once I was walking to work, my hair was natural and I had a bit of make-up on, I don’t go all out for just a day-to-day look. A construction worker shouted over to me, “I’d like to see that suit on my bedroom floor, why don’t you come with me?”
I’m at the point now with these kinds of comments where I’ll just roll my eyes and keep walking.
It’s not unusual to receive comments about my breasts and what I’m wearing.
It’s when people physically touch me that I can’t help but react.
I was walking to a bar with my friends one evening and I wasn’t dressed provocatively at all, just a knee-length dress, a jacket and boots. A group of guys were walking on the other side of the street and then started following us.
One said, “Wow she looks great,” and grabbed underneath my dress.
I pushed him away and said, “Leave me alone, you shouldn’t do that, don’t touch me.” He just laughed and they walked away. He was drunk, but that’s no excuse.
In America you’re not allowed to lay your hands on people, so if I had reacted and fought back in self-defence I could’ve been at fault and been arrested.
That’s why I’m more vocal with my reactions, but then they just feel like they’ve gotten away with it.
I’ll often report these incidents to the police or community security. They’ll take a description and act as though they’re going to do something about it, but I never hear anything of it.
It just makes me angry more than anything. I find it degrading and disgusting that when people like the look of something they just grab it. I don’t expect anything to change, I’m just used to it now.
Ane Togärd, 23, from Stavanger, Norway feels lucky to live in a progressive environment, she said:
It’s so nice to live in a place where street harassment isn’t part of your daily life. I can walk down the street with my girlfriend, holding hands and no one will even look at us.
This is so different to my experience in the UK. Whenever we’re out together people will stare, point and comment. We’ve had men shout out of their car windows about wanting to watch us have sex.
Being in that kind of environment makes me feel very uncomfortable, you can sense where people are looking. It’s as though they’re undressing you with their eyes.
I’ve never had to deal with unwanted advances or catcalling in Norway, or Copenhagen where my girlfriend lives.
I didn’t realise how much of an issue two women holding hands would be. Especially in the UK where society is, as far as it goes, pretty forward-thinking in terms of women’s and LGBT rights.
I think society has been equalised for longer in Norway, in terms of diversity and it’s a lot more progressive than other countries I’ve been to in Western Europe.
It’s one of the best places in the world to be a woman for things like working and maternity leave. Ideas of respect and equality are enshrined in men from an early age. Men in Norway are shyer than men I’ve encountered in other places.
I’m not saying street harassment never happens, because it does. But it just feels very different here.
I don’t want people to think Scandinavia is this perfect place where nothing bad happens though. When alcohol is involved there are lots of scenarios where men take advantage. They’re also a lot more physical than verbal which I think is worse. I’ve got friends who have had men put their hands down their trousers in the middle of dancefloors on nights out.
But there is a huge contrast between everyday situations and what happens on nights out. It’s just not something we have to deal with daily at home.
This issue is present and ongoing for women across the world. Even in societies that are making progress in so many different areas of life.
How can this still be going on every day and everywhere? If Scandinavia have managed it, why can’t the rest of the world?
To live somewhere where you’re not blamed for inciting rape, attention and groping would be a revelation at this point.
It is clear from speaking to these women that most of us just put up with it. Maybe this is why it carries on, but they’re right. Sometimes ignoring it is just easier.
No comments:
Post a Comment